(no subject)

[kitarou]

One thing that I am a bit embarrassed to admit is that I am impressed with sluts. At least to some degree. To have the self-confidence to not only pick up someone, but actually be able to go through with the act, is impressive. I won't deny that there are other issues at play (diseases, being forced to sleep with people for attention, etc), but the fact of the matter is that not everyone can be a slut (at least, not a good one).

I've only been actively gay since just before I left for Japan, and only errr, “meeting” guys? since I came back. I'm surprisingly not a prude so long as it's safe(r), and the other party isn't icky :P But really, random sex doesn't work out for me. I get too conscious about myself and my disability. Getting subconscious means I get distracted, which means no more erection, and the whole thing spirals down from there. I'm sure everyone has their own self-conscious moments, and this is not a disability-related thing, so hence why I'm impressed with the sluts out there.

Now, sure, it takes less effort to be on the receiving end, but it still takes a good amount of courage to do so, knowing the increased risk – in terms of disease/pregnancy, and psychological. But those who are able to do so, and stay sane/aren't abused, etc, impress me – even if just slightly because I simply can't turn myself off that way.