Venting....

Breaking it down... Yes, I like T (at least as far as MSN goes), but up till now I had a strong sense of loyalty towards R (and T's pushing was kinda frustrating esp. when even T said R liked me). That loyalty is still there, but.... it's faltering... and it's not solely the lack of being online.

I guess I feel like I'm the one putting any energy into keeping a fire burning. That's the problem with "not dating" people XD. I understand that R can't be online much... but R could at least take up my offer to call him, or he could email me when it's been a long time without talking... or... something. It also doesn't help that R has made implications that a) he wants to leave the country cuz he has nobody here, and b) [[troubling note that shook me that I hope was only for drama's sake]] (I'm not sure on the truth of b or not, as he only said it once and the circumstances of that conversation were... odd.).

Yeah, I like him, and I feel bad being so fickle... but... if I can't build something LD, even just a simple strong-friendship, then uh... do I want to waste my energy hanging on to this dream I had? Especially considering that after a year, I graduate University and will have to face a whole new ballgame.

Frankly, I should realize it really doesn't matter anyway. It's all online text at this point.