kitarou: (Friends - by)

You know, as much as I find Facebook relationship statuses childish, knee-jerk, and monogamist priviledged, at least they save the awkward "this triad broke up 2 months ago and half the people we interact with don't know" moments.

kitarou: (Default)
*wonders when friendship will be a 2 way street...*
kitarou: (Default)
One thing that I am a bit embarrassed to admit is that I am impressed with sluts. At least to some degree. To have the self-confidence to not only pick up someone, but actually be able to go through with the act, is impressive. I won't deny that there are other issues at play (diseases, being forced to sleep with people for attention, etc), but the fact of the matter is that not everyone can be a slut (at least, not a good one).

I've only been actively gay since just before I left for Japan, and only errr, “meeting” guys? since I came back. I'm surprisingly not a prude so long as it's safe(r), and the other party isn't icky :P But really, random sex doesn't work out for me. I get too conscious about myself and my disability. Getting subconscious means I get distracted, which means no more erection, and the whole thing spirals down from there. I'm sure everyone has their own self-conscious moments, and this is not a disability-related thing, so hence why I'm impressed with the sluts out there.

Now, sure, it takes less effort to be on the receiving end, but it still takes a good amount of courage to do so, knowing the increased risk – in terms of disease/pregnancy, and psychological. But those who are able to do so, and stay sane/aren't abused, etc, impress me – even if just slightly because I simply can't turn myself off that way.

kitarou: (Default)
So uhm, yeah. I ended up wussing out.

The general feedback was my letter was too blunt. One person said I should do it in person (or even by phone). Not to say I agree with all the feedback, but it was enough to make me hesitate more.

Not sure what I'm going to do, as it is going to keep nagging at me... :S
kitarou: (Default)
So, I think I'm finally doing this. Coming out to my parents by snail mail. I'm sending them a letter along with my Tuition tax slips. I'm not TOO worried, but know this is effectively throwing a live grenade up in the air.

I tried to keep the letter short and sweet, as past attempts seemed way too long-winded.

I guess I just want to get the fall-out over with. (Uhm, hopefully this isn't a condition of Post-Breakup stress ;P) ... At least one of my two older brothers know (I'm assuming they both know, as it's on Facebook and that's how the other saw haha). I realize I should say something besides having it on my facebook, but I really don't feel like having that conversation with my older brother/childhood best friend/current roommate... I'm just assuming they know. Kinda dangerous, but mehh.

Anyway, letter beneath the cut.


Read more... )

Now I just need to buy an envelope and a stamp :P
kitarou: (Default)
Dear Mom and Dad,

You're probably wondering what this is about. coming out )
kitarou: (Default)
I just had a very freaky discovery of personal kink LOL

I'm talking about my reaction to a porn video. You've been warned )
kitarou: (Default)
First, happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] atarigangster!


Next... just a few self comments...

Yesterday was awesome and I was on top of the world
My plans to go out seem to be falling apart... but...
It's easy to be positive when things are going well.
The challenge is to stay positive afterwards
kitarou: (come out wherever you are)
Just had an awesome coffee meet-up thing... :D

Keeping my fingers crossed.
kitarou: (come out wherever you are)
You don't want to read about my craptacular sex life. Yet I'm posting this anyway, mehh. )

(And despite my being vague, nothing major happened... But hopefully I can overcome some personal blockages.)

And now I'll know when I last did anything when someone asks me six months from now *coughs*
kitarou: (Default)
The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.

Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master
On paper, most gay guys would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with boys. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.


ALWAYS AVOID: The Billy Goat

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy


Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
kitarou: (Default)
Obviously, I'm not asexual. Don't mind me, just overreacting because I did something naughty and it blew up in my face ;)
kitarou: (Default)
Tonight was ... a good experience, somewhat.

But I'm back to wondering if I'm asexual after all :P
kitarou: (Default)
The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)

Steady, reliable, and cradling him tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The men left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal man is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master
While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.




ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah

CONSIDER: The Gentleman or The Slow Dancer


Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: IDontWannaReg
kitarou: (Default)



You scored 13 Heterosexuality, 74 Homosexuality, and 21 Asexuality!

You are either gay or bisexual (preferring your own gender) with a moderate to high sex drive.



The higher your score in homosexuality, the more you are attracted to your own gender.



A higher asexuality score means that you place a bigger emphasis on the
emotional aspects of a relationship and less on the physical.












My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 3% on Heterosexuality
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 92% on Homosexuality
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 49% on Asexuality




Link: The 3-Variable Sexuality Spectrum Test written by kitsunechild on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
kitarou: (Default)
Well, turns out I've been hung up on a "player" all this time (since April).

Fsck.

Fscking R. I'm more mad at myself, though.

EDIT:
On a good note, all my sexual trauma is now associated to the same name. Maybe my friend Gen was right about Roberts.
kitarou: (Default)
You know, the problem with finding out an acquaintance/former volunteer supervisor is GLBT... without being able to talk to them about it at the time, is that you start wondering if he's on the market and would be interested, LOL.

Shoo, bad thoughts, shoo!
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